Sunday, February 12, 2012


When this began, it seemed wise not to have the kids' friends at our house. Our family all knew that the friends were in no danger but I was afraid of parents' reactions once they realized that their sons or daughters had spent the night at our a time when I knew. How would you feel if your children spent time at the house of someone accused of looking at child porn?

As time went on, I realized how awful it was for the kids to be unable to invite friends over. They didn't mind going to their friends' homes but that meant they were gone too often. I missed them and their friends. Slowly, we began to encourage them to invite friends over. My daughter was reluctant because she had told her friends about her dad and they felt odd around him. Also, so much of entertainment is online now that it is awkward not to have an internet connection. Our house is definitely an internet-free zone.

My daughter carpools with a friend who knows. When I heard that the friend's mother also knows, I called her to make sure she knew she could come to me with any questions or concerns. My husband, after all, is the other half of the carpool. The mom said she was concerned at first but then realized that her daughter would never be alone with him. She listened to me, which was the important thing. Since then, she called once to say that she would be out of town, and could her daughter spend the night at our house? I cried with ridiculous gratitude.

The other night, my daughter had two friends sleep over. The next morning was not a school day for them but it was a work day for me. That same mom texted me at the office, asking if the girls were awake yet so she could pick them up. Immediately, I was in a panic. Would the mom be upset to learn that my husband was home with the girls? Would she think I was being irresponsible, leaving them with him? My daughter wasn't answering her phone so I knew the girls were still asleep. My husband and I knew that he could not go to the basement to wake them. The danger is all for him. We do not dare put him in a position where anyone can say that he even looked at them funny. My panic is for him, for me. But never for the children. They are in no danger whatsoever.

I texted the mom, telling her that the girls were still asleep and because my husband would definitely not go down to wake them, she may need to wake them when she arrived to pick them up. I asked if she was upset that I left the girls home with my husband. She said that she wouldn't have let her daughter sleep over if she was concerned. I cried again.

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