healing

Happily, my husband found a counselor that he trusts and he has had a mix of individual sessions and group sessions with her. The group sessions continue. She has been able to help him focus on why porn was so attractive to him, and is able to help him stop obsessing over what a bad person he is. Without that change in focus, he is unable to be the husband and father he has been. Without that change in focus, he thinks more frequently about suicide. She encouraged him to attend some 12-step meetings and he attends at least two meetings a week.

Twelve-step meetings may not be for everyone but they have proven useful for many. I have begun attending 12-step meetings for family members of a sex addict. I was glad to hear that phone meetings are available for people who live in an area without a meeting...and for people who are unable to get away to a local meeting. When your family goes through a crisis like this, the chaos can extend to all aspects of family life, making it difficult to get away to a meeting. The phone meetings allow you to talk to others who will understand your situation. Anonymously, of course. That is essential. Go here to find a meeting or to get information about the 12-step program.

You may have mixed feelings about whether "addiction" is the proper word for what was going on but I am not sure it matters. If my husband can get support for his efforts to stay away from porn and if I can find people who know what I'm facing...count me in.