Monday, July 29, 2013

what are YOU fine with?

Some visitors to my blog come here ready to be outraged. Vera seems to be one of those visitors. Her comment leaves me shaking my head.
Wait. So you think a naked photograph of YOU, that was taken without your permission, that was out there on the internet where any pervert who likes jacking off to pictures of naked women he doesn't know can access it, save it to his computer, show it to his friends, share it online - would be okay? Like that wouldn't bother you, to have your naked picture floating around without your permission? You wouldn't want to know about it? You would have no problem with ANYTHING that anyone did with that picture?
If I knew a naked photo of me was available on the internet and creeps and perverts were thinking who-knows-what....I would not be okay with that. Of course I would be bothered. If I knew about it, what in the world do you expect me to be able to do about it? I can't retrieve the photos, I can't find out who has a copy, I can't know what they were thinking when they saw it, I can't know if they shared it with others. 

I would rather not know. I have enough worries keeping me awake at night. 
What if that picture was of you as a child, naked, in the midst of the thing that brought you the most pain and shame in your whole life? THAT picture floating around the internet forever, for your children to some day possible stumble across, that picture being used by perverts to jack off to - that would be fine with you too? You wouldn't worry about where that picture is or what was being done with it?
No, that would definitely not be fine with me. If memories of the earlier abuse recorded in the images are already giving me nightmares, why in God's name would you want me to worry about the photos, too? What kind of sadist are you?

So far, Vera's point seems to be that I think child porn is no big deal. She's wrong, as she would know if she had read with something approaching comprehension. Then she goes off the rails:
You wouldn't feel some need to try to control what happens with those naked pictures that someone else took and posted without your permission?  
Okay, Vera. What kind of "control" do you think I could possibly have over images loosed on the Internet when all the law enforcement agencies in the world can't control access to the images? How do I make sure I gather all the CDs that may have been burned or thumb drives that may contain my images? How do I figure out who downloaded the images, who downloaded them by accident, who doesn't even realize they have images of me? Are you picturing me circling the globe from pervert to pervert, snatching photos of me from their sweaty hands? 
You don't believe people have any right to control photographic images of themselves? Especially images that were not taken or distributed without their permission?  
As marvelous as it would be if the children in the images had the right to control those images, that idea is incredibly naive. 

If the victims are told that images of them are floating around the Internet, they have the same amount of control they would have if they are not told: NONE. Absolutely none.

In her hurry to express her outrage with me and with my husband, Vera has lost sight of what matters most: children who are dealing with the trauma of sexual abuse. She would rather hammer at me than give any real thought to what it would be like to know.
That is SO interesting to me, because I have not seen ANY pictures of you on this blog... why is that? Are you shy? Are you worried about your picture getting out? Are you worried about someone in your life recognizing you? How ironic.
Oh, Vera. A registered sex offender and his wife were murdered last week (was that fine with you, Vera?) in South Carolina because he was on the registry...and you wonder why I don't post my photo on my blog? 

7 comments:

Margaret Moon said...

I must ask you, Vera, how you imagine the offending photos/videos could be "controlled." Do you think that incarcerating the men who have looked at them with ever-increasingly long sentences "controls" the images? I have read that even though there are longer sentences, more convictions, and harsher restrictions there is absolutely no decrease in the number of images available. Perhaps if efforts were made to catch the producers of the images instead of the ones who just look at them, the goal might be accomplished. Of course the producers are most likely family members or close friends of the victims, as opposed to faceless, unknown strangers, and it might be uncomfortable to sling hate and insults at them.

LizaMoore said...

I'd love to know what you think your husband's punishment should have been. Do you think child pornography should be legal since it's impossible to get it off the internet?

Should law enforcement track it so they can arrest the person and send them to prison or not?

Somehow I think that if this hadn't had happened to your family and you found out there were nude photos of you on the internet without permission, this blog would be all about how it's terrible that pictures are on the internet.

Margaret Moon said...

If my picture were on the Internet and that picture showed abuse I would want the person who abused me and photographed the act to be apprehended and incarcerated. Child abuse is the heinous crime. I have a quote from an Internet Crimes Expert who says, "The Registries are being filled with the wrong people." She further states that "Agents would have to investigate to catch the producers, they can sit in their offices with their feet up and catch the Lookers. The software does it for them."
I do think it's terrible that all pornography is on the Internet. I think it's terrible that prime time television is so blatantly sexual. And I know that the punishment for looking at child porn is very often harsher than the punishment for actually molesting a child. Looking at a picture is NOT the same as the act of abusing that child.

sd said...

i can agree that if the blogger did not end up in her current dilemna this blog would probably not exist and i don't think she would make one about how her pictures are on the Internet...bad idea if you ask me..you are just bringing more attention to the discovery of your true identity and creating sexual curiosity in perverts to find those images..with all due respect to victims it is best to get over it instead of lingering in the shadows of the past..

p.s. what happened troll couldn't get my blog taken down? haha!

One Fine August Day said...

My husband is incarcerated for possession of child pornography, however in his case it was Provence in a court of law that my husband was not the one to download in or put it on the computer. A person who we thought was a friend had downloaded it to our system. Needless to say possession is possession. He is now in prision his life is over he got a mandatory minimum which is 40% below the minimum sentence given he received 60 months (5 years) he also got 10 years on probation and a lifetime on the registry as a sexual offender. Our lives are ruined. Our son is forever damaged because of this. Because of some other dirtbag. 1 video never opened. Put on our computer by another person Proven in a COURT OF LAW IN FRONT OF A JUDGE. Still found GUILTY. Has to get PERMISSION TO LIVE WITH HIS SON AGAIN. What do you think he should of gotten???? The five years???? Does his punishment fit his crime? I don't think so. But a lot of people think it should of been harsher. Because he was an upstanding citizen and worked around children and said well he had to of done it. Seriously? Everyone who knows him knows he didn't. Now compare it to another guy in our community. Rapes his daughter has been going on for years. Takes a plea to avoid making daughter testify. 7 years only has to serve 5. 5 years probation and life time on the registry. Will be listed as a predator. Who would you rather your neighbor? You think his sentence was fair?

Lori Dixon said...

Says the person who is so good at lingering in the shadows of the Internet.

Walter Hurst said...

Well Marie, it looks like you have run into the same thing the rest of us have. You try to educate people and find that people don't want to be educated, they only want to hate. I still don't understand how people can think they are qualified to judge others, I'm sure you've notice that many come here to spew self righteous indignation at you and anyone else who disagrees with them or their judgement. keep up the good work and don't let them get you down, remember you have done nothing to deserve their wrath and their wrath is not worth your concern.