where to go for help with an addiction to child porn?

Think about the position of someone addicted to child porn. He can't be online without that itch to see what's out there, to see if he can track down illegal images. He knows he could be caught; he almost certainly knows that he is wrong to look at them. He knows what people would say if they knew what he did with his time online.

The guilt and shame of his secret activities must be painful. I do not believe that most men (usually men, though not always) enjoy the guilt and shame, nor do they enjoy being in the grip of an addiction so abhorred. 

Alcoholics and drug addicts can go to AA or to treatment programs. In fact, once they decide to get treatment, family and friends are usually behind them, encouraging them to change their lives in a positive way! Not so for a child porn addict.

Where would a child porn addict go for help? The habit is not only shameful, it is illegal. He is a criminal. Going for help could result in his getting turned in to law enforcement by the minister, the counselor, the friend next door. We all know that crimes against children are to be reported immediately; we know that if we don't do that, we can be in trouble ourselves. Just ask the Catholic church how it went for them when they did not turn in priests accused of sexual abuse of children. 

I have asked several counselors whether a child porn addict could go for help for his addiction without getting turned in. Every single one of them answered that it was doubtful.

I wouldn't wish any kind of addiction on anyone but at least the druggies and drunks can go for help without worry that they will end up in prison for their addiction.

Because possessing and/or downloading child porn is illegal, it is difficult to get help to break the addiction. Until it is possible for child porn addicts to get help without the risk of being turned in, we will be imprisoning people who would have stopped long ago if only they could have found help.

healing

Happily, my husband found a counselor that he trusts and he has had a mix of individual sessions and group sessions with her. The group sessions continue. She has been able to help him focus on why porn was so attractive to him, and is able to help him stop obsessing over what a bad person he is. Without that change in focus, he is unable to be the husband and father he has been. Without that change in focus, he thinks more frequently about suicide. She encouraged him to attend some 12-step meetings and he attends at least two meetings a week.

Twelve-step meetings may not be for everyone but they have proven useful for many. I have begun attending 12-step meetings for family members of a sex addict. I was glad to hear that phone meetings are available for people who live in an area without a meeting...and for people who are unable to get away to a local meeting. When your family goes through a crisis like this, the chaos can extend to all aspects of family life, making it difficult to get away to a meeting. The phone meetings allow you to talk to others who will understand your situation. Anonymously, of course. That is essential. Go here to find a meeting or to get information about the 12-step program.

You may have mixed feelings about whether "addiction" is the proper word for what was going on but I am not sure it matters. If my husband can get support for his efforts to stay away from porn and if I can find people who know what I'm facing...count me in.