tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3520559915267373429.post8996081357042885314..comments2023-04-06T03:55:49.495-07:00Comments on Notes from the Handbasket: how a congregation should respond to sex offenders among themMariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10597007600326637447noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3520559915267373429.post-831887622457134012018-12-08T10:27:01.490-08:002018-12-08T10:27:01.490-08:00Hmmm. Marie, any church would have done the same. ...Hmmm. Marie, any church would have done the same. I fully understand their need to present a pure and unsullied face to the world, given the ongoing investigations into child sexual abuse in several denominations around the world, and that means keeping minor-attracted men out. What annoyed me at the time was the assumption by both the church elders and the social workers that I would be grateful for the crumbs they offered me. The fact is that the UK as a society has no idea what to do with convicted sex offenders after they've served their time.<br /><br />I've made many terrible mistakes in my life. Realising the non-existence of any supernatural deity was one of the best decisions I have ever made. It's not because of any bitterness towards church people, as I still have at least one good friend who's a Christian and I've been treated well by some other individual Christians. No, it's because now I don't have to believe the foolishness of faith (and I don't have to defend the old testament god with his genocide and hatred of women). And, yes, I know what's in the Bible about that.This Wreckagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04466419106139105455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3520559915267373429.post-78171530437773745822018-12-08T09:52:58.983-08:002018-12-08T09:52:58.983-08:00This Wreckage, I'm sorry that you encountered ...This Wreckage, I'm sorry that you encountered one of those churches. You sound very sure about giving up on God so all I will say is that God has not given up on you. He is there with you in your solitude, keeping you company, feeling all your pain. I hope that you are able to find--or build--a community that suits you. Thanks for reading my blog.Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10597007600326637447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3520559915267373429.post-45844210643043351762018-11-26T06:50:53.464-08:002018-11-26T06:50:53.464-08:00As a registered sex offender, I made the mistake o...As a registered sex offender, I made the mistake of trying to attend a church in Scotland in 2013. My criminal justice social worker and police monitor contacted the church which then created a behavioural contract for me before I was permitted to attend even one Sunday morning service. A meeting was set up; I duly attended and, around a table of unfriendly faces, I was handed the document. It allowed me only to sit at the back of the church on one occasion per week, so long as I was surrounded by church elders at all times. If I needed to visit the toilet during the service, I'd be accompanied by at least one elder. <br /><br />No, this was not for me. I told them so, to their evident astonishment at my ingratitude. They had done all this for me, a monster and vile man who had looked at online pictures. I got up and left, followed by furious members of the authorities, but I've not darkened a church door since then. I was really only looking for a community, as I'm socially isolated, and my personal beliefs have matured into atheism. Many groups and organisations, religious or secular, have rejected me categorically, so I spend my time mainly alone at home. That is, apparently, the best way for a sex offender to live in the UK.This Wreckagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04466419106139105455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3520559915267373429.post-87864043385180013472016-06-01T05:40:46.972-07:002016-06-01T05:40:46.972-07:00I am saddened by the fact that I get treated diffe...I am saddened by the fact that I get treated differently at church because my husband is a registered sex offender. My husband was also falsely accused, as if it matters... and I don't feel comfortable going to a church that condemns us. We are saved by the grace of God, who died on the cross for everyone's sin, every sin no matter the kind, all sins are the same to God, murder is the same as stealing a piece of gum from the store a sin is a sin. The registered sex offenders are being watched carefully, the ones you need to worry about are the ones who haven't been caught yet! They are the ones who are still doing harm! At least my husband is trying to go to church and follow God, but when we are turned away, doesn't that make you want to not go? I have resolved not to go back to church, and I love God so much because of what he did for me, this is why it hurts so much, because I learn more in church than on my own, and now what am I supposed to do?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16898942280869756244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3520559915267373429.post-59889925127221059982014-09-07T14:44:59.469-07:002014-09-07T14:44:59.469-07:00I was so happy to read your post. It distresses me...I was so happy to read your post. It distresses me to see all of the conditions that so many of our churches try to place on the children of God. Statistics show us that a child's Sunday School teacher is far more likely to molest him/her than the registered citizen sitting in the next pew. So,keep your hearts, doors, and minds open. THAT is what Jesus told us to do.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08114629878277282612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3520559915267373429.post-6472181621430266472014-08-20T11:12:38.332-07:002014-08-20T11:12:38.332-07:00Oh, and for Kate that says forgiveness is a PRIVIL...Oh, and for Kate that says forgiveness is a PRIVILEGE, better crack open her bible. Don't "feel" like forgiving? Forgiveness is a decision of faith to allow Christ to act in us. Forgiveness involves willing to allow Christ to minister to the other person through us. "Forgiveness involves willing to suffer abuse", Matt. 5:11,12.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15297111165335430372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3520559915267373429.post-8315609536368094832014-08-20T11:07:23.734-07:002014-08-20T11:07:23.734-07:00What is the difference between you and Jerry Sandu...What is the difference between you and Jerry Sandusky's wife?<br /><br />Did the last two posters actually post that question? <br /><br />Do they think they actually know the facts about anything that goes on in someone else's life? Have these two people ever looked around on their husbands/boyfriends computer and ever seen what he has been up to? Or better yet, what kind of things did their husband/BF do in their spare time while on a computer before they were in a relationship? <br /><br />Even better, did their husband/BF, as a 17 year old in high school ever date or do anything sexual with maybe a 15 year old girlfriend?<br /><br />I bet neither of them, along with many others, can answer questions like that with 100% conviction. Try to walk in someone else's shoes before asking a question like that. Maybe THEY are more like Jerry Sandusky's wife than they think, if their dirty laundry was aired.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15297111165335430372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3520559915267373429.post-81926149987930335872014-08-19T11:51:27.385-07:002014-08-19T11:51:27.385-07:00The need for sanctuary and nourishment in a SAFE P...The need for sanctuary and nourishment in a SAFE PLACE for the innocent (non offender) absolutely trumps that of the sex offender. The minute the offender crossed the line by taking advantage of a child (or other victim), he/she gave up many of his/her rights. Forgiveness is a PRIVILEGE, period. <br /><br />And I agree, how, exactly, are you different than Sandusky's wife?? katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07090847049951176089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3520559915267373429.post-32583814898693607622014-08-19T09:29:19.701-07:002014-08-19T09:29:19.701-07:00Your blog certainly makes some excellent points. ...Your blog certainly makes some excellent points. <br />The sex offender registry does create a false sense of security, all child porn is not the same,etc. <br /><br />However, you do not address the issue of how manipulative sex offenders are. It is common for an offender to state that "nothing happened", then (when cornered) "maybe something happened" then, "OK something happened but he/she enjoyed it". <br /><br />Sex offenders also learn the "right" things to say while in counseling. Many "upstanding" people abuse children and get away with it because of being such excellent liars. <br /><br />What is the difference between you and Jerry Sandusky's wife?Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01707183766782970369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3520559915267373429.post-60078642419938125342014-08-07T21:06:57.718-07:002014-08-07T21:06:57.718-07:00First, my husband did do something bad and he is c...First, my husband did do something bad and he is committed to not doing that ever again. Second, he is not a registered sex offender at the moment because he is in prison. Third, blogging about my husband and how he ended up in prison is more like airing dirty laundry than sweeping something under a rug. Thank you for reading my blog!Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10597007600326637447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3520559915267373429.post-81983184838656274282014-08-07T18:57:33.169-07:002014-08-07T18:57:33.169-07:00Your husband is a bad man, a registers sex offende...Your husband is a bad man, a registers sex offender and you try to sweep it under the rug.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16804478188941085257noreply@blogger.com